The reason

Nope, today's blog is not about the song Hoobastank sang. I don't think till this point in life, I've any regrets in my life (though I thought I used to have in my younger days).

Today's blog is about the major events in my life that has brought me to where I am - so far. Patience is one important value that I'm still very lacking. Luckily, life is not totally in my own control. God's speed is the term to use.

Like a rolling snowball, I started dreaming of helping the less fortunate at the age of 15. That was my first exposure to the world of the less fortunate (in church). In church, the term was 'evangelism', where groups of Christians would travel to different places in the world to spread Christianity. By 20, I had gone for my first 'mission trip' to Japan with Campus Crusade for Christ of Singapore Polytechnic. My religion has influenced me to think of the unfortunate - at that point, people who have not heard of Christianity were considered unfortunate to me. At the same time (1997), I was exposed to the culture and happenings of countries like Mongolia (which I couldn't get permission from mum to go to), Kazakhstan, Tajikistan (again, I was underage), Myanmar, Thailand and Cambodia. My horizons were expanded. I wanted to reach out to these people. I wanted to help them, but I was just a poor student who needed to complete my course of study.

In the years to come, I learnt a lot about life from people from all sorts of position, status and background. Office politics, relationships, family feuds, growing pains, governmental issues. I felt I was swimming in a rich pool of information with no idea of what to do with it.

Coming to the USA, my identity (politically and socially) was further scrutinized. I felt I had a lack of identity, like I did not belong to somewhere specific. I felt I don't have a story to tell. I don't even know how to answer when someone asks me where I am from.

Without Malaysia, I wouldn't even have been born. I wouldn't have received my first 15 years of basic education. I wouldn't have understood what racial harmony and tolerance was. Without Singapore, I wouldn't have been able to afford the next 3 years of education. I wouldn't have been exposed to the world. I wouldn't have been able to afford my education in Berklee. I wouldn't have known my Myanmar, Chinese, and Cambodia friends in my company.

Last year, I lost 3 friends. James, 21, Myanmar - student, committed suicide due to political and family reasons. Luda, 27, Singapore - System Analyst, married for 1 month, died of heart failure. Christopher, 27, Singapore - missionary, lost the battle of leukemia. Life is too short to be wasted.

The reason I studied Electronics, Computer and Communications Engineering is allow every corner of the world an opportunity to communicate with one another. The reason I kept music so close to my heart all these years is because it's the only language that can be understood universally without translation.

I'm very glad that I'm part of the Roads To You Tour 2006. No strict mum - no willpower. No Malaysia - no safe growing up environment, education, childhood. No Singapore - no college education, confidence, exposure to society, prejudice; Philipino, Cambodia, Myanmar, Chinese friends, no chance to study in Berklee. No Berklee - no American, Israeli, Jordan, British, Scottish, Swedish, French, Canadian, Spanish, Italian, Portuguese, Peru, Argentinian, Dominican Republican, Uruguaian, Mexican, Japanese, Korean, Chinese, Taiwanese, Indonesian, Indian, African, Nigerian, Malaysian, Singaporean friends, no chance to find out how others perceive me, no Maeve. No Maeve - no Roads to You Tour audition. No audition - no chance to tell others about my background and what's happening in my region.

Pure coincidence? No way. It's my life, it's my journey. It's my reason for being in this world. Unfolding my life's plan - every minute. I wasn't really lost these past 6 years, I just couldn't see the big picture. I'm more certain of my future pathway now - and it's coming true, finally. I'm thankful that I grew up in the safe parts of the region. But someone has to speak for those who are still suffering in silence. I'm sorry I can't wait for you.